I am continually amazed at the power for confession. The simplicity of asking God to forgive sin can release years of being stuck. This is what happened to V. She had spent ten years of her young life using drugs to forget the pain of her youth. The drugs covered her feelings of inadequacy. The more she used drugs however, the more she continued to fail in her life. The continued failure brought feelings of deep resentment toward herself. It also brought her to believe that she could no longer succeed in anything and therefore she feared moving forward. In our session she simply asked for forgiveness for the years of resenting herself. That week she was able to go forward with plans for school and felt free from the stuck feelings.

Not forgiving oneself is rarely seen as sin, or dealt with as such, but it is just as debilitating as unforgiveness towards others. In fact, it can be more debilitating. It must be dealt with as all sin is dealt with. Through asking for forgiveness of god and then changing our behavior and attitude towards ourselves.

John recently did an interview with Randy Zachary from “Randy & Monica in the Morning” on KAMB Celebration Radio (http://www.celebrationradio.com)

Here is part 6 of 6 be sure to listen to the whole informative radio interview. Click to listen to part 6 of 6

Relationships can be difficult. The divorce rate in this nation pushes 30 to 40 percent for Christian couples. With the influence of psychology on our culture we have been taught to set boundaries to protect ourselves from abusive behavior by others, whether that behavior is physical, sexual or emotional.  Now of course it is right to defend yourself from abusive behavior. And it is also right to protect others from the same.

However, many boundaries become impenetrable walls in our lives. We begin withdrawing ourselves from people who we feel hurt by. We put up a wall in our heart to prevent further injury. Unfortunately the injury continues to persist. But not only does it persist, but it worsens. Why? Because as we build walls of resentment in our hearts, the subsequent pain worsens. Our mind now, not only feels the pain of the present, but it also adds to it the unforgiven pain of the past, adding to it insult upon insult.

That is why when setting boundaries against others that are sinning against us, what we must do is not withdraw our love from such people, but like our Lord, act in love toward them. But what would this look like?

The wife, who is being controlled by her husband through jealousy and fear, must learn to love her husband in a way that calls him to account for his bad behavior (sin). All too often the woman feels like a victim. She believes negative things about herself, resulting from both this relationship and her past. These beliefs cause her pain. And these beliefs keep her in fear.

But once she learns how she is loved by God, she can stand up and love her husband in a way that interrupts his sin. Now she refuses to allow her husband to sin against her. She refuses, because she loves, to participate in His sin. She now picks up the mandate to “turn the other from their sin, to save them from destruction”. No longer do we set boundaries, as victims, but now we pursue love. Not as victims, but as those that Love.

That may mean calling the police on a violent spouse, for their benefit. Instead of being afraid to call for fear of what my husband may do later, or to not get them mad at me. Love does not seek after its own, but does what is best for the other. That begins with calling others to account for their sin. She now encourages right behavior and right thinking in God.

We don’t protect at the cost of our hearts becoming callous and hard. We stand daily, dealing with our unforgiveness, both present and past. We set a new boundary stone, just as the good Pharisees did in biblical times. We set a boundary to keep us from transgressing Gods’ law. We Love God with all of our hearts, soul and strength and we love our neighbor as ourselves.

John recently did an interview with Randy Zachary from “Randy & Monica in the Morning” on KAMB Celebration Radio (http://www.celebrationradio.com)

Here is part 5 of 6 be sure to listen to the whole informative radio interview. Click to listen to part 5 of 6

John recently did an interview with Randy Zachary from “Randy & Monica in the Morning” on KAMB Celebration Radio (http://www.celebrationradio.com)

Here is part 4 of 6 be sure to listen to the whole informative radio interview.  Click to listen to part 4 of 6

John recently did an interview with Randy Zachary from “Randy & Monica in the Morning” on KAMB Celebration Radio (http://www.celebrationradio.com)

Here is part 3 of 6 be sure to listen to the whole informative radio interview.  Click to listen to part 3 of 6

John recently did an interview with Randy Zachary from “Randy & Monica in the Morning” on KAMB Celebration Radio (http://www.celebrationradio.com)

Here is part 2 of 6 be sure to listen to the whole informative radio interview.  Click to listen to part 2 of 6

Much of our emotional health is dependent on our past experiences.  Both in how we were taught to respond to life and how we were taught to cope with crisis. Sin is passed down from generation to generation simply by watching our parents and other significant’s deal with their life issues. Children are significantly limited in their discernment. That old saying; “The acorn does not fall far from the tree”, is based on fact. We see this with Adult children of alcoholics.

These limiting factors have to do especially with the things that we believe. In scripture the Hebrew people were slaves to Egypt. The Hebrew word for Egypt means “to limit”. When God called them out of Egypt He took them in a round-about way , because they were not ready for war. They believed they were weak. After all they had been abused and controlled for many years. Unable to even worship God in the way He had taught them through Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

But the hardships they endured could not cause them to forget God, and neither did He forget them. He heard their despair and He came to deliver them from their limits. He sent a prophet with His truth.

The lies that were taught and believed limit us. They determine all of our perceptions about others. This is why we are told that our planks keep us from seeing clearly the specks in our brothers eye. We must remove those planks, our beliefs and perceptions.

After a little while God calls the Hebrew people an army. Prophetically He spoke into them what they would be, even when they still did not believe it themselves. It is so important for us to bring our limiting thoughts to God who is limitless. He can speak truth into those lies that we have been taught about ourselves. But it must be done through a change of mind. This can only occur through discovering what we believe that is not true, and then through repentance and new choices walk in a new way of thinking and relating to others.

Unfortunately we are not taught this in many of our churches today. That is what my book and my work is designed to do for others. I must discover the lies that I believe which keep me in bondage to the limits of self protection, and unloving behavior.

And as a parent I must be able to recognize these in my own children, or else I cannot lead them into a healthy way of relating to God and others. This is simple , but o way is it easy. It takes a determined choice to obey God and to put our understanding second to His truth about us.

May god lead you out of the Egypt in your life, and lead you into His limitless truth.

John recently did an interview with Randy Zachary from “Randy & Monica in the Morning” on KAMB Celebration Radio (http://www.celebrationradio.com)

Here is part 1 of 6 be sure to listen to the whole informative radio interview.  Click to listen to part 1 of 6

Love requires sacrifice. Or at least a willingness to prefer the other person before your own wishes and desires. This is specifically what scripture states. Love does not seek after its own, and love does what is in the best interest of the other.

Too often , however, love has become a meaningless emotion, not backed by a solid commitment to the other. Self seeking interest, interested only in what makes “me” feel good.

But if we are very honest, we realize that most couples come into a relationship to meet a need inside of themselves. This met need gives each one a nice feeling which is then misunderstood for love. But this is just the chemical feel good response that comes from having our holes filled. It is not , you see the love that is spoken of in scripture. It is not the love tested by fire, the fires of life and struggle. This type of love takes years of commitment to one another. Placing our needs second to the needs of the other.

But this type of love cuts against the culture that we live in. even current Christian thought that states that we have to our needs fulfilled by the other and we have the right to demand this. Well we don’t

What we do have is the command to do what is the best interest of the other. Sometimes this means we must confront our mate with their sin. It is not a love of self protection, but a love that risks itself to bring the other into a right relationship with God and into right behavior that is pleasing to God.

Gods love is all of this. He is willing to discipline and correct those that he loves. He has no thought of Himself when He sacrificed himself for us. He knows that He is loved by His father, and this knowledge enables him to stand against the unloving assaults against Him. When we know that we are loved by our Lord, we can forgive the mistreatment by others. This is how it works in all of our relationships and knowing that we are loved enables us to love others without conditions.